— “Short People”

I actually heard that Randy Newman song on the radio the other day. I remember the days when it was popular. Some fool once tried to tease me with it. I punched him in the stomach. He never tried that stunt again.

I didn’t mind being short when I was growing — or not growing — up. Most of my friends were under 5 feet 3 inches tall. My mother was short, my sisters were small and my father was no giant, except in my eyes. Had I grown to be tall, I would have doubled my paternity.

I heard someone comment on the possibility of Fred Thompson throwing his hat in the presidential ring. The gist of the remark was something like, “He is so tall. He looks like a president.” I don’t resemble that remark. What does height have to do with presidential timbre? That person, who was my husband, made that comment without even knowing Thompson’s platform. He went on to say that his stature

Why does a president have to be tall to command attention? I thought people should be smart to be president. I never have been totally on target with that one. There have been short presidents. James Madison was only 4 feet 7 inches tall. There is a life-size statue of him on the James Madison University campus. Of course James Madison never had to make television appearances or pose for photo opportunities.

There have been many short people in history. Napoleon was short. Attila the Hun was less than 5 feet tall and people were frightened to death of him. Tom Thumb made a fortune. Nikita Khruschev was 5 feet three inches tall, and he put fear in people’s hearts; so did Stalin who was a little guy too.

Short does not mean stupid. Short is not a bad word, yet many folks use it as something that should not be desired. “He got the short end of the stick” or “She’s one brick short of a full load.” When you draw straws, it is always the shortest one who loses and has to do the dirty work. People are short-changed. People come up short. One is short-tempered. “Don’t be short with me.” People

have short memories and short fuses. The only good short expression is, “To make a long story short.”

I can’t think of one negative expression employing the word tall. People refer to tall ladies as being tall drinks of water. Men love long legs. I have never heard a compliment worded “Wow! Look at those short legs.”

I don’t mind being short. I do find it frustrating not being able to reach half the things in the kitchen, but then that has its advantages. Other people will get them for you. Other people seem to do a lot for me. I want to tell them that I may be small, but I am not helpless. I am little, but that doesn’t make me weak or mentally challenged. I am of the opinion that short people are smarter than tall people. Most of short peoples’ energies were used developing their minds and not on adding inches to their stature.

However, it seems that fact is not recognized in the world of business. Recent findings show that height is a measure of power. The report goes on to say that this is especially true among CEOs, many of whom are quite tall. Being tall brings instant respect. If you are short you may not be taken seriously. Your ideas are not received as well as those offered by someone who is tall.

The report took notice of a story in USA Today. Le Gourmet Gift Basket has a woman as its CEO. She is 5 feet 9 inches and still wears 3-inch heels. I can’t cope with 3-inch heels. I have never owned a pair of stilettos. I would fall off of them and while I have less distance to fall than someone taller, I have a fear of broken ankles and of making a fool of myself. I am five foot even and I wouldn’t be able to fool anyone into thinking I was taller by wobbling around in high heels.

Lara Tiedens, an organizational behavior professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, said that people of status use height or an inflated appearance of height to look more powerful. I am not sure what inflated appearance of height means unless she means elevator shoes. She notes that successful people in the workplace look at others directly, use an open stance, use vigorous gestures, speak loudly in a deep voice, interrupt at will and lean in close to reduce the space of others and expand their own space.

I would call that person obnoxious. I try to look at others directly in the eyes, but it is tough to when they are standing. While I don’t often speak loudly now that the kids are out of the house, I do have a deep voice. I don’t interrupt at will. That is my husband’s job. I like to give people their space, as I like to have mine. I guess I won’t get that promotion.

The article I read was under the headline “Short People Are Ignored In The Workplace. Success Reserved for 6 Feet & Up.”

Well I am the CEO of my house and I am only 5 Feet & Down.